Thursday, October 31, 2013

Adge's Top 6 Cheesy Horror Picks -Available on Netflix-

Halloween season gives us a feeling of nostalgia that causes us to dust off our old VHS horror collection and spend the whole month of October cuddled up on our couches. This year, there's no need to bust out ancient electronics; all of my favorite cheesy Halloween movies are now on Netflix. So let me introduce....

Adge's Top Six
Cheesy Horror Picks
-Available on Netflix-

1. Pet Sematary

Cheesy like all good horror movies should be. It stars the world's cutest evil toddler and Herman Munster at his creepy, cool best. No other movie movie will make you contemplate the disadvantages to reincarnation like this Steven King classic. 3.5/5 imaginary points

2. Red State

This movie can only loosely be called horror. It's unintentionally funny, like all Kevin Smith movies. The obvious rip at Westboro Baptist Church is glorious and it stars my favorite actor, John Goodman. 5/5

3. Evil Dead 2

I don't pretend to understand why Sam Raimi decided to make a sequel that is identical to the original with only a slight casting change. All I know is that I love it best and it opened the doors for Army of Darkness to be made. 3/5

4. The Frighteners

Michael J. Fox hires ghosts to scare people and then charges his victims for ghost removal. It's a genius psychic goldmine. A serial killer's ghost tries to muck things up for our protagonist and his love interest, but every thing works out after a very climatic end. 3.5/5

5. Tucker & Dale VS Evil

A hilarious case of stereotyping and coincidence pins these two lovable rednecks against a group of preppy college kid in slapstick horror brilliance. There are lessons to be learned here, but you won't be paying attention. You'll be laughing at the guy that falls into the wood chipper. 4/5

6. Cabin in the Woods

Combine all of my previous picks together (if you're thinking 'Scary Movie', slap yourself) and make the audience self aware, and this is what you get. Why must everyone in a horror movie die? Is there a purpose to it all? This movie tries to explain it while keeping you good and spooked. 4.5/5

So there it is, the reason why I'm probably on a missing persons list. I'll come out of my house in November, when I'm trying to avoid Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving.

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