Adge's Top Six
Cheesy Horror Picks
-Available on Netflix-
1. Pet Sematary
Cheesy like all good horror movies should be. It stars the world's cutest evil toddler and Herman Munster at his creepy, cool best. No other movie movie will make you contemplate the disadvantages to reincarnation like this Steven King classic. 3.5/5 imaginary points
2. Red State
This movie can only loosely be called horror. It's unintentionally funny, like all Kevin Smith movies. The obvious rip at Westboro Baptist Church is glorious and it stars my favorite actor, John Goodman. 5/5
3. Evil Dead 2
I don't pretend to understand why Sam Raimi decided to make a sequel that is identical to the original with only a slight casting change. All I know is that I love it best and it opened the doors for Army of Darkness to be made. 3/5
4. The Frighteners
Michael J. Fox hires ghosts to scare people and then charges his victims for ghost removal. It's a genius psychic goldmine. A serial killer's ghost tries to muck things up for our protagonist and his love interest, but every thing works out after a very climatic end. 3.5/5
5. Tucker & Dale VS Evil
A hilarious case of stereotyping and coincidence pins these two lovable rednecks against a group of preppy college kid in slapstick horror brilliance. There are lessons to be learned here, but you won't be paying attention. You'll be laughing at the guy that falls into the wood chipper. 4/5
6. Cabin in the Woods
Combine all of my previous picks together (if you're thinking 'Scary Movie', slap yourself) and make the audience self aware, and this is what you get. Why must everyone in a horror movie die? Is there a purpose to it all? This movie tries to explain it while keeping you good and spooked. 4.5/5
So there it is, the reason why I'm probably on a missing persons list. I'll come out of my house in November, when I'm trying to avoid Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving.
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